How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
