He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
