my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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