You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize