He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
