I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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