Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
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it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
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Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.