I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
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Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
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We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.