Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Duck Duck Cougar?

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  (602): Duck Duck Cougar? http://tfl.nu/gtca
  Replies (2) Good night (2805) Bad night (597)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is

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  (314): we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke. (1-314): i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is http://tfl.nu/c6uw
  Replies (26) Good night (2541) Bad night (576)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.

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  (310): Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker. http://tfl.nu/ijgw
  Replies (14) Good night (4041) Bad night (691)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it

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  (423): gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it http://tfl.nu/v9kx
  Replies (9) Good night (4177) Bad night (1075)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place

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  (701): entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place http://tfl.nu/zqzf
  Replies (8) Good night (6276) Bad night (1494)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

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  (757): i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone. http://tfl.nu/mzb6
  Replies (7) Good night (1464) Bad night (2793)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  yes. helicopter.

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  (630): wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back? (816): yes. helicopter. http://tfl.nu/re1i
  Replies (19) Good night (5664) Bad night (1047)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.

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  (773): NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU. http://tfl.nu/h1az
  Replies (10) Good night (2338) Bad night (908)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.

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  (512): Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college. (512): Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good. http://tfl.nu/chyc
  Replies (10) Good night (1564) Bad night (1016)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

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  (603): I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob. http://tfl.nu/3ajr
  Replies (5) Good night (1745) Bad night (750)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.

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  (615): i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at. http://tfl.nu/fdq1
  Replies (2) Good night (1777) Bad night (674)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha

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  (775): Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha http://tfl.nu/7v5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1517) Bad night (518)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant

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  (270): Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant http://tfl.nu/aglv
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (411)
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  (949): View more from California

  I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.

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  (949): I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited. http://tfl.nu/5fzq
  Replies (0) Good night (694) Bad night (295)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.

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  (316): So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory. http://tfl.nu/2ivk
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (328)

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