if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.