hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think I won the penis lottery.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.