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• (818): View more from California

  Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...

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• (561): View more from Florida

  i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.

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• (980): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times

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• (559): View more from California

  Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.

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