they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
