her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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