why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
