literally had 100 drinks last night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize