Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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