I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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