I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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