Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Enjoy the penises
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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