if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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