these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
