yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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