She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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