I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
