We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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