My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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