What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
...so i touched it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
