But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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