they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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