ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
