i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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