i permit you to call me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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