we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
