btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize