FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
