Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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