Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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