is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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