hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
