His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
