Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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