she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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