Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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