girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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