If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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