your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
