i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
