Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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