I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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