the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
