a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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