I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
