Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
