You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
