he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My dick has a subreddit
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
