apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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