i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
