i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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