there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
