that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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