Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
