if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize