I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize